Why I'm not sorry

and you shouldn't be either

Most of the writers I’ve worked with have apologised to me at some point. They say sorry that their work isn’t perfect, or sorry in case I don’t like it.

They apologise before I even look at their writing.

I used to do this too, but I don’t any more.

I’m going to tell you why I stopped apologising and why I think you should too.

(Although I’ve referenced writing specifically throughout this post, the message is equally as true for an illustrator or artist.)

It’s ok to be vulnerable

When people find out I’m an author, they often tell me they’ve got an idea for a book. But very, very few people will ever actually sit down and write one.

Writing is hard. Sure, parts of it are fun (I still think it’s the best job in the world), but it also takes discipline and perseverance.

The way to get better at writing is simple. Keep writing. Write something, edit it, learn from it, then write something better. And repeat.

You should feel proud if you’ve spent time and energy creating something new, not embarrassed.

I get it, writing can make us feel vulnerable. It’s something you pour a part of yourself into. Sharing that can feel scary.

What if people don’t like it?

But what if they do?

The older I’ve got and the more I’ve written, the more I’ve realised you can’t please everyone anyway. How much someone likes a piece of writing is entirely subjective. If my English degree didn’t teach me that, then the book groups I’ve been a member of certainly did.

So don’t try and please everyone, it’s impossible. Instead focus on what you want to write and make it as good as it can be.

It’s ok to make mistakes

One of the other reasons I think so many writers apologise is because they’re worried about getting it ‘wrong’.

This is something I see with children when I run creative writing workshops in schools. Whilst I understand this fear, there is no such thing as ‘wrong’ when it comes to writing. (And I say that as a dyslexic author with terrible spelling.)

I always make a point of telling kids how many edits and re-writes one of my books can go through - up to twelve for a picture book text and that the process can take months. I tell them that sometimes I cut things out and change my mind about a character or a plot but that’s ok, it’s just part of the process.

The same goes for adults too. Writing is a craft. Like any skill, the more you practice, the more you learn and the better you get.

It isn’t about being right or wrong.

It’s ok to ‘waste’ time

I’m a working mum whose kids do a million clubs. I also like to exercise, garden, see friends and read. My time is precious and always in short supply, so I never want to feel like I’m wasting the time I do have.

There is so little space in most of our adult lives to mess around with words or paint like we did when we were kids. I wonder if this lack of time is where some of the pressure we put on ourselves to write something word perfect comes from?

The truth is being creative isn’t always about making a finished thing, it’s about the experience of doing the thing. It’s about self-expression, having the freedom to try something new and make mistakes. It’s not about perfection.

We live in a culture that values productivity. We read about CEO’s who don’t waste a single minute of their day. But what if playing, and daydreaming aren’t a waste?

Some of my best ideas have come to me when my mind is wandering, when I’m walking the dog, or simply staring out of the window on a train. It’s so much easier to let my imagination run wild when I’m free to create without constraints.

Why there’s no need to say sorry

I’m not claiming that all my writing is amazing, because it isn’t. For every book or poem I’ve had published there are hundreds that live on my laptop and will never see the light of day.

But I’m not going to apologise for them. Some of my writing is better than others, some of it needs a lot more work but I’m not ashamed or embarrassed by any of it, even my really early stuff.

Sure, I can look back now and see how I’d write a piece differently, but I also recognise that I can only write the way I do now because of everything I wrote before. And because of all the help I’ve had along the way.

Over the last twenty years I’ve completed creative writing courses, been a member of writing groups and have had feedback from numerous writer friends, agents and editors. Each one has taught me something new.

So when a writer shares their work with me, I understand why they might feel nervous and have the urge to apologise for it, but there is never any need too.

No one, not even the most popular author you can think of writes a book word perfect first time round.

Asking for feedback, for help is ok, it’s how we get better.

So let’s normalise imperfection.

Let’s take the stigma away from making mistakes.

Next time you share your work with someone, remind yourself that you’ve spent time and energy creating something out of nothing, that it’s ok to be vulnerable and that it takes guts to put yourself out there.

It doesn’t have to be perfect.

Be proud of yourself and your work.

And don’t ever, ever apologise for it.

If you are ready to share your work, don’t miss out latest round up of all the submissions opportunities for children’s authors and illustrators. You can take a read here.

In other news last month it was our…

…book birthday!

It’s been four years since our debut book The Perfect Fit published. The Perfect Fit has been translated into twelve languages, selected for the Scottish BookTrust BookBug scheme, shared on CBeebies Bedtime Stories and was also shortlisted for the Klaus Flugge Award.

To celebrate we’re offering a 20% discount for anyone who subscribes to an annual plan using this link before 5th April. (The reduced price will continue indefinitely.)

This means for just £40 a year you’ll be able to read all of our subscriber only posts including recent ones about what actually happens at book fairs, how to write a query letter and the pros and cons of having a literary agent.

Plus you’ll be able to join us for a live monthly zoom call (our next one is Sunday 30th March at 8pm GMT.)

Special offer for feedback on picture book texts

This month I am also running a special offer for feedback on picture book manuscripts. If you have a picture book text (up to 1000 words) that you’d like some guidance on then she can help.

As well as being a published author, I worked in publishing for eight years and have been a freelance editor and mentor for over six.

For just £50 I’ll provide notes on your manuscript as well as written feedback on key points in an email. Do get in touch if you’d like to know more.

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